Courtney suggested I post this, as I am in desperate need of help. Some of y'all may know me, I am Caroline Faith. I live in a small town in South Carolina. I recently came out to my parents that I am a transgirl. This means, I am a girl that was born in a male body.
My parents, being conservative Baptist Christians, instantly denied that this could be the truth. They threatened if I ever show any change in behavior, or in dress, they would kick me out of the house. I talked to my mother about this the other week, and she said that after studying Christian websites, she determined that I am not trans. She said that my "symptoms" can be treated with church and a spiritual councillor. This, is not truth. I need help.
I have waited 19 years to come out, and now that I have, I have been met with nothing but resentment from my family. The only other people outside my family that know are all conservative Christians as well, and will offer no help.
I'm posting this, looking, and begging for help. If there is anyone out there who can help me out in any way, any way at all, PLEASE do so. My Skype information is caroline.faith3. I really need help right now, because I am scared that if I talk to my parents about this again, I know I will be kicked out and homeless.
My parents, being conservative Baptist Christians, instantly denied that this could be the truth. They threatened if I ever show any change in behavior, or in dress, they would kick me out of the house. I talked to my mother about this the other week, and she said that after studying Christian websites, she determined that I am not trans. She said that my "symptoms" can be treated with church and a spiritual councillor. This, is not truth. I need help.
I have waited 19 years to come out, and now that I have, I have been met with nothing but resentment from my family. The only other people outside my family that know are all conservative Christians as well, and will offer no help.
I'm posting this, looking, and begging for help. If there is anyone out there who can help me out in any way, any way at all, PLEASE do so. My Skype information is caroline.faith3. I really need help right now, because I am scared that if I talk to my parents about this again, I know I will be kicked out and homeless.
Also, I hate this picture >.< I reallyyyyy hate my body.
My first starting in all this would be to look into what options you have with getting your own accommodation, a one room flat perhaps, as it's clear your own folks won't have you transform in theirs and also how you might pay for it. Not being an American I don't know what's available to you but you need your own space.
"Counselling" isn't the answer to this although I know some Christians (not all by any means) do push it hard on ya.
Hugs, Belinda.
I think it is obvious your parents won't help you at all. You need to move into an enough big city where doesn't matter who are you. You need to get a flat and of course a lot of money which is the main problem. You need to get a job.
If you are planning to study in college/university then you need to decide if you will study as a boy or girl. I have no doubt peoples are cruel therefore it would be better to study as a boy.
The HRT, FFS, SRS and the other plastic surgeries will cost a lot of money. You need to earn some money for safety before you begin the transition. You could lose your job anytime then you will become homeless quickly.
You need to imagine what you can expect from the HRT and the surgeries. If the result wouldn't match to your expectation then abandon this transition idea. You will be sad and probably you will commit a suicide since you won't be able to live a normal life if you look like as an ugly women who is mostly man. It would be the worst thing what can happen.
I can understand that it seems to be impossible to live a normal life in a male body but it could be worst.
If you are over all surgeries and you become a female you won't won anything. You just created the minimal starting position which should be normal for everyone at the birth. You still need to work, learn a lot of things to live as a women. A lot of TS get job in the adult entertainment area which is sad.
I'm also a TS. My parents didn't support me. I couldn't setup the new life alone I think it is almost impossible. I become an engineer and I'm still a single guy. I'm just dreaming about another life the feelings won't disappear but can fade. I'm not happy at all but at least I'm alive, peoples around me don't know so much about me. I just hope I will once meet someone who will be my girlfriend and can accept these feelings in me and maybe sometimes I can be her girlfriend without any surgery. Yes, I love girls if I had SRS I would be lesbian.
As you can see you have choice. You can keep your body or you can change your body. There is no guarantee that you will be happy.
The life is difficult. You need money. You need to make some difficult decision. Probably you need some friends who can support you and you can trust them.
Good luck. I hope you can reach your goal.
XOXO Adry
Reading briefly about the situation you're in, moving out on your own or getting any kind of surgery probably aren't realistic options for you right now, maybe not for a long time. It sounds like you may just be stuck with your parents, and they with you.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. You'll probably have to ride it out.
My guess is that your parents are just as afraid of this situation as you are - afraid of what their friends and other family members are thinking about you (and them) regarding who you really believe yourself to be, especially while living such a conservative lifestyle; sort of a "why us?" situation.
I can't say for sure, obviously, but there's probably a pretty strong difference between your parents *threatening* to kick you out and actually going through with it. Many parents (and people, for that matter) tend to respond with empty threats to scary situations. You don't need to have to remind your parents about "unconditional love" or anything, but there's probably some necessity in their Christian upbringing that dictates they put a fair effort into trying to help you, as misguided as their efforts may sounds to the rest of us.
And counselling may not even be the worst idea, if you go into it with an open mind. Assuming your councilor isn't biased (I don't know much about "spiritual" councilors), you may at least have the opportunity to openly discuss how you feel inside about your identity in a fair environment, which is certainly something you're not getting at home - and something many of us do not get the chance to do. As somebody who came out as a transgirl at such a young age, and posting your picture and Skype info here, it sounds to me like you're a strong person who's willing to talk to people about yourself, which is a very brave thing to do.
This is a sad situation you're in, and it will definitely have its peaks and valleys during the healing process, but you really do need to keep as open a mind as you can. I'm sure your parents still love and care about you, they just need time to come to grips with things as well. They may never reach a level of support you need, but give them a chance. Refuse to believe that it's as black and white as "change who you are or get out."
You have some tough decisions to make, and you know what your options are. Try to achieve the things you want, but prepare yourself for the things you don't. I said it before, you're a strong person, and you shouldn't let anybody - not even your parents - take that away from you.
Good luck.
Wow. Thank you so much. That really means a lot, its a perspective I haven't had. For real. Thank you so much. And thank you all for showing that there really are people out there who are willing to help.
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