For those of you who visit this blog daily, you may have noticed that I took the blog down last Tuesday. In fact, I received several e-mails and messages from people asking what was happening. Considering what happened, I wanted to wait a few days before posting this to clear my mind a little. After having discussions with Claire, Alexis, Shaun, April, Anthony, and a few others; I have a big announcement.
I originally thought this day would never come, but the time is finally here to announce my retirement from capping. Whether this will truly be a permanent retirement, semi-retirement, or extended break is up in the air. When first launching this site, I promised myself that I would stop completely when I got married or became pregnant. Unfortunately, those still haven’t happened yet BUT something else did that I wasn’t expecting… a near nervous breakdown!
This decision did not occur suddenly, although an event the other day triggered the final decision. Last week, I almost suffered an anxiety attack due to growing stress in my personal and professional life. One medical professional friend of mine said I’m showing strong signs of depression/anxiety and a few other things that may be major. She recommended I contact a psychiatrist and I should be visiting soon.
Part of this stress has been trying to get these Christmas books finished in time. This made me think about some other things as well, such as the fact that I have lost interest in capping and a few other reasons I won’t go into.
To be honest, I have not felt a strong desire to cap in months. You’ll probably noticed that a few years ago, I would post almost every day but that has dwindled to only a few times a month in recent times.
When I first started capping (2009/2010), good clean caps were extremely difficult to find. There was quite a learning curve, but once I started I couldn’t stop. I became somewhat addicted in the first few months of launching this blog once fan base went through the roof and I was getting many compliments and e-mails from fans. Because of the learning curve and growing a blog, I was spending between 3-6 hours a day managing this blog. It was my baby!
At one point in time, I had about a half dozen people regularly contributing artwork and friends I talked to about TG Land stuff every day. This was a very fun time. However after a few years, personal tastes and lifestyles changed. I had others join the crew, but most were fly-by-night who did one cap and were never heard from again. The fun factor died off.
Claire and I decided to start writing full-length stories last year for the same reason I started capping in the first place: Because we weren’t finding the kind of stories we like too often. Here is the good news: I am NOT finished WRITING TG Fiction.
This decision might be a very positive thing as I’ll now be able to focus on working on my writing craft and producing better stories. There are several benefits to writing. The biggest is that I still enjoy it. Just to let you know, Claire and I have several unreleased books and I have a few other authors submitting great material that will come out soon.
Special thanks to my TG Land friends that I talked to about this. Most suggested that a break is well needed due to my current state. I’m still undecided on the future of this blog and would like to hear from you about what you think in the comments. I’ve considered changing the format to focus only on TG Fiction and related material rather than caps.
Over the years, I received many messages from people telling me that this blog helped them understand their feelings with gender identity and transformation interest. Who knows, this blog may have even SAVED lives. Thank you for everyone’s support over the years! I’m hoping to have the same effect with our books.
Some people who reached out to me this week while the site was down mentioned that they wish more people made caps like I did. If you want to make them… do it! A few caption artists got their start on this blog and/or were influenced enough to start their own blogs. In the early days of my interest in TG Caps, I was heavily influenced by Becky and Ashlee who still put out caps today, but others I was influenced by are long gone such as Miles at Tasteful TG Caps.
The blog is only about 20,000 views away from hitting the 10 million mark and I would love to see it hit that before the end of the year when I will make my final decision regarding this blog.
Again, thank you to everyone. You haven't heard the last from me, but a different direction is needed.
Love,
Courtney Captisa
thank you for the notice Courtney and I hope you get to feeling better.
Courtney, this blog helped me soo much in my life and your caps always make my day! I visit at the least once a day, and enjoy all the caps i see, but i do understand where your coming from i myself is very depressed in my current time of life, so i do understand to an extent, hope this isnt the end of your capping days!
Love,
Jessica
I'm still writing captions but I have a small views. I hope you write a novel that can become a movie. Until then always remember you are my hero (-:
I completely sympathize, hon. I went through the same sort of challenge with stress and anxiety a couple of years ago. I ended up taking a 6 month break from blogging and reviewing, until I could get my priorities straightened out and figure out how to find a balance I enjoyed.
Take your time, and take care of yourself. We're not going anywhere. :)
You must take care of self. Hope it is only a break but wish you well in what you decide.
Sorry to hear about these struggles. This is supposed to be fun, and when it isn't, it doesn't make sense to continue it. It's been enjoyable watching you find your voice as a capper. Thanks for all you've done, and best of luck toward your future...
Hi Courtney. I hope you find yourself feeling whole again very soon. I have greatly enjoyed your caps over the years - thank you! I do hope you will leave them up for future interested people so they may also find some joy, strength and laughter in your works. Please continue to focus on your needs and be sure they come first! All the best in your future endeavors.
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