The Ballad of Jewel Kouture

 J.K. was a dedicated hip-hop fan. Old school classics were becoming a bit stale and he rejected the Mumble Rap era. While he identified with  the flow and bars of most male artists in the past few years; he felt like something was missing. They often talked about the struggles of being a man in the 2020s like dealing with girls cheating, street cred, and adult topics; he didn’t have any children and no criminal record, so songs about child support payments and shooting people were becoming a little ridiculous.

Inspired with creativity, he decided to try rapping himself. He read that physically writing lyrics was often more beneficial than just typing them on a phone. At Dollar General, the only notebooks they had were in pink. Somewhat girly, but who cared? Not like anyone else would see them. J.K. planned to practice his rhymes and have all this memorized anyway. 

While working on his lyrical craft he realized he needed to work on his image. He settled on several new tattoos and was a little surprised when his tattoo artist recommended a colorful snake and butterfly near his ankles. It was cheap. Maybe easy to hide with socks if he had to. As weeks went on, he started a new diet which made him lose some weight in his belly, however his butt and hips became much wider. Wearing men’s pants and shorts didn’t even work anymore and he was forced to start shopping for clothes meant for girls with big booties. A month into his fashion change he embarrassedly walked into VS saying he think he needed a bra since his man boobs were so big. They recommended a bralette to start out and he was terrified when they said he should come back if they grow more.

A doctor’s visit was in store. They couldn’t explain the changes in his body, why his voice was getting higher in pitch, the mannerism changes, or why his pen*s was shrinking. Instead, they recommended therapy that included a mentorship program for others who had similar issues.

At the mentorship program, J.K. was encouraged to keep up her ambitions of being a rapper. When J.K. mentioned she was still practicing and writing for hours but in a rut and suffering from writer’s block the therapist recommended some new life experiences. J.K. continued to work on their look, going to an aesthetic place for botox, lip, brow, and cheek injections and to the salon where they had hair extensions put in. 

J.K.’s first public show was booked at a hip-hop showcase in a warehouse and needed to get the entire ensemble finally together. Friends recommended just accepting the fact that J.K. should live as a woman. She has very large breasts, a big booty, LOVES getting HER nails done, wears lots of makeup, has extremely long lashes, and was probably going to start having a need for tampons any moment. SHE agreed, especially noting that some of her new songs had topics such as being with multiple partners, feeling someone against her, putting an old towel on the bed, and that she was the baddest bitch on the block.

Six months later, Jewel Kouture released her first studio mixtape: “Freak n’ Heat’ and has gained hundreds of followers on TikTok. Destined to be one of the most influential female rappers of the new generation.