They make it too difficult for solo diners to eat on Mother’s Day. Every restaurant from the high-end places to the hole in the wall Mom & Pop shops offer a Mother’s Day buffet at jacked up prices. I was by myself on Mother’s Day since Mom lives across the country and all my friends had plans with their families. For lunch that day, I ended up at the only place that didn’t have a line around the corner and had decent prices: Mel’s Deep Bowl. It was one of those old school diner places like you see in movies. The menu was still on one of those ancient Pepsi boards above the counter. The eggs and sausage I had were great.. At the time. But the next day at work is when things started to change.
I started vomiting a lot and had to go home early. Once back at my apartment, it was evident that my facial hair had receded slightly and my face looked a little slimmer. The vomiting continued even after taking Pepto Bismol and it felt like I was shedding pounds off my body. It was decided that sleep may be the best medication. Once waking up, I felt…different. My stomach still hurt and when I went to the bathroom, more of my facial hair was gone, the hair on my head looked longer, and my nose had changed in shape slightly. I became worried and looked up the symptoms online, but nothing helped. Still was unable to go to work and called out, but HR said they had no record of me working there which was weird. Throughout the day, I continued to use the bathroom and was in so much stomach pain that I had to sit down to pee, barely noticing that my wee wee was a lot smaller than before. The hair on my head continued to grow and I texted some friends to let them know I was feeling like hell. The girls seemed to be the more caring while some guy friends were responding with emojis and being a lot nicer than usual.
On the third day, I had enough and went to the doctor. A blood test revealed that I was turning into a woman and was mysteriously pregnant! I couldn’t believe it since it seemed like something that would be the plot of a bad made-for-TV sci-fi movie. The only thing I could think of was that meal I had at that crummy dinner. Could their food poisoning have lead to this? Of course with my luck, I discovered they were just shut down by the health department and it would take months to get any answers!
By that time, I had come to terms with what was happening to my body. A newborn will be a nice change of pace in life and my friends are much closer to me now that they think I’ve always been a girl. It’s taken some getting use to having a vag between my legs and large breasts, but I’m trying to embrace femininity as much as I can to be the best mom ever!
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